For the past 5 years I’ve been treading the waters of my creativity via ‘Part of The Whole’ (though the process was simply named ‘grief’ and ‘wonder’ at that time); sometimes I’d find myself in way over my head, sometimes only ankle high and on occasion I felt that I was lost in some barren desert, desperate for an oasis, rainfall, elusive salivation even.
I didn’t know it 5 years ago, after losing my dear Dad, that the songs I was pouring my heart into would eventually become part of a whole project. Nor did I know a year later, when a long term relationship began to dissolve, that I would still be learning from loss and grief and finding refuge in writing music.
The next year, I’d find myself living in Spain, studying at my dream college and recording my music with beautiful musician friends from around the world. I couldn’t have imagined that just a few short months before.
The songs were for me; to help me cope, they were for family and friends; to offer understanding where the words weighed too heavily without melody, and they were for the ones I had lost but felt eternally grateful for having known, loved and shared life with for even the most brief of moments.
Now, the music is ready to find a new home, new ears, new hearts. I hope that it resonates with someone outside of myself. Though I am grateful for the refuge it offered me when I needed it most.
I have been self-mixing and mastering the songs, a very new adventure for me. I’m filled with doubts and lethargy sometimes, because I want it to be perfect- my fault. But then I remember the innocent little seed that was the emotion travelling from my gut to my fingers and onto a page, and I want that brave little seed to bloom.
If I have learned anything over the past 5 years, it is that even in the saddest of times there is something to learn. There is something to be experienced. There is something that can change your life, if you so need it. I’ve learned that sadness is just as important as happiness, if perhaps a little more uncomfortable; that it comes with many blessings to show us who we are, why we do what we do, how we love and things we can’t even find words for. It makes us so very grateful for the good times.
In his last moments with us, my Dad said some words that have changed my life: “We’re all in this together”. That has been my compass. It’s changed my whole view of the world. It’s had my back when things got tough again. And it’s the seed that grew into ‘Part of The Whole’. An album of music, yes, but also a process, a period in time, a mirror and compass. I could go on…
For now, I hope that you enjoy the music. Thank you for taking the time to listen. And remember, there’s nothing you can’t handle, the tough stuff is an invitation to learn and we’re all in this together!